Have you ever wondered if the life you dream of is really your dream life? Like the one that you fantasise about during the day, the one that you maybe save your earnings for, the one you discuss with partners or friends.
When I was traveling for years I had moments in which I wanted a different life. I was longing for a steady job and a flat and an unchanging view from the kitchen window. I was longing for a life in which I could daydream again of the life I was actually living in that moment (backpacking in Guatemala, just to remind you…), that I could make plans just to put them into an imaginary box of beautiful but sadly unattainable projects. What a shame, really… But, you know, the job and things… Those plans could give me a short moment of light into my routine, a wink of adventure, maybe even consolation and the illusion that possibly one day…
But no, I am here. Not traveling right now but free to go wherever and do whatever I want. The centre of my existence is not a job or a flat. I am the centre. The world lies in front of me like an All-you-can-eat Buffet. It just needs the courage to take the plate of my life firm into my hands and to take the meal that I want. Or better: Meals. Even if other guests watch me in envy, chewing grimly on their bleak “stable life plan”-bread while I walk along the richly laid table and without any shame taste the maybe “unsuccessful” but yummy “traveling experience”-soup and then eat from the “occasional job”-cake, badly paid but juicy and cooked with many ingredients. Ever tried the “volunteering”-salad? Or the “hitchhiking”-ice cream? It’s delish! And a lot of fun.
I gain weight: In experiences, knowledge and wisdom, in craziness, in friends and enriching encounters. In mistakes. In lessons. In zest for life. In everything that I want.
We create the life that we live. Actively and passively, consciously and unconsciously. Even if it doesn’t always flow the way we envision it. But it always moves towards a place that will teach us exactly what we need to learn. Life is generous in that way.